There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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