that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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