Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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