i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
