God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
