I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
