i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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