Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
