Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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