i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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