I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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