bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
