U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
