On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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