so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
