So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
