I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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