I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
