After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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