I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
