if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
