i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
