I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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