This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
