Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
