she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
