"it" just moved
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
