They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
