you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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