and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my being single is dangerous.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
