Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
