he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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