Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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