i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
