I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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