Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
