I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
