I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I see more hoeing in ur future
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