I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
