the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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