I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
