the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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