I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
how do flat chested girls get laid?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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