Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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