Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
