he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
