google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize