No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize