Well douche your snatch and let's go!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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