After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she looked like the before picture.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
