i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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