Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
