I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
