Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
