i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
And then he peed in my hair
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