Already got asked if we're dating
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
