I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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