Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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