OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
