Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You smell like stripper and shame
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
