This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
